Okay, this is a lot harder than I suspected but that is nothing new. I believe I mentioned that I am not a fan of talking about myself, particularly my problems. It is the end of the month and as usual I am panicking about money. Am I going to make all the bills this month seems to be the eternal question. If I do happen to come into some money, I forget about managing it for the future, it runs out and here I am back with the end of the month's worries again.
Enough already. This blog is about changing my focus and perhaps other people will pick up some clues along the way to shift their focus. How exactly does one go about changing their focus? My former technique would be to hang out in my head, go find someone else who has a miracle cure or pray desperately. I wouldn't be writing this particular blog today if any of them had worked. I believe Albert Einstein started the very well known quote. "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Today we stop being insane.
No matter where your information comes from; life experiences, religion, society, self-help books, TV or, the catch all for everything, the Internet, the answer can be summed up with one sentence. Do the exact opposite of what you want. If you want money, give it away. If you want to learn, teach. If you want to receive love, go love someone else. If you want to be respected, respect others. Don't focus on what you don't have and therefore want, focus on what you have, on your blessings. I grew up with the Christian Bible. Two very famous quotes which I'm paraphrasing sum it all up. If you want to receive, ask. If you want to get into heaven, act like a child. Excellent advice I'm sure but really, if any of us could make sense of that, would we still be looking for another blog to tell us what to do?
Lets' start by stepping back from ourselves for a bit. Each of us spends most of our time focusing on the minutia of our days, the individual events of our days which may or may not be causing problems. There must be multiple studies somewhere that point out that the negative is more powerful and easier to recall than the positive. What is the bigger picture of our days and lives? We need nutrition, exercise, sleep, connection and something to engage us. That's pretty much it. What we do with those areas determines how we live our lives and whether we enjoy our lives or not.
Somewhere along the line I have heard, and ignored repeatedly, that when we make changes we should do so slowly. Recently through a webinair from MindValleyAcademy.com I came across the information that to create a habit it helps to match what we are doing with a cue. Trying to keep that information in mind along with the bigger picture, I have come up with a few ideas for taking our focus, for a few minutes, off whatever it is that we are stressing about. These are actual acts we can do to start changes in ourselves.
Every day I get up, go to the bathroom, then the kitchen to feed my cats and grab a small drink of water with my medication. I am changing that process slightly. When I get my water, I am getting a large glass of water and adding some lemon or lime to it with a touch of honey. Then I start the rest of my day. Watching Dr. Oz yesterday I was reminded of chia seeds. Chia seeds are a natural food which is high in omega 3's, calcium, fiber and protein. Awhile ago, I was religiously taking Omega 3 supplements but they became too expensive. Yesterday I went out and bought some chia seeds at my local bulk food store. I tried adding them to the water this morning. Turned out to be a bad idea. Instead I found an applesauce, oatmeal, blueberry muffin recipe and threw in a tablespoon of chia seeds with the dry mixture. Now I have healthy muffins and I can get some chia into my husband as well - always a bonus. I've got a lot of chia seeds so there will be a lot of muffins in this household for awhile. If you don't want to do that, chia seeds can be added to just about anything especially smoothies. There are a lot of recipes on the internet. Lately I have been learning to add spices when I cook. Tumeric and cinnamon usually find it into my day. Tumeric is anti-inflammatory, cinnamon and honey have anti-oxidant properties. For me the cue is what I have to do in the morning anyway. I don't need a cue to eat muffins.
Exercise is the next on the list. I like to walk and I have an escarpment near by which has stairs to climb. I also have a 2 year old grandson. Between them I get a fair amount of exercise - if it's nice out. Yoga is always in the back of my mind but that's where it stays most of the time. There are however some painless ways to increase your exercise level. Last night during some commercial breaks I started to do exercises - some of them were standing up, others I did right where I was sitting. At other times, I simply move when doing something else that I have to get through like doing my teeth, doing dishes or waiting on hold on the phone. Adding music or seeing how silly you look in the mirror can help. Some of these ideas can be used if you are confined to bed. I find that when I think of them as moving not as exercise and match them with something else to remind me, it is easier to do. After my accident I found some balls (Miracle balls) that I could use while lying on a flat surface to build strength. Drinking water before and after working out is a great feeling.
For me, walking provides another way to move my focus to something else. I connect either with what is inside me or what is around me. By the way if you are not in the habit of walking start with a five or ten minute walk and work up to what you enjoy. A five or ten minute walk is not very far and can be squeezed in quickly. My walks are usually around an hour. The speed you walk at is not that critical at this point. Sometimes I observe my body when I'm walking to see what parts are moving. I discovered that if I consciously move my hips when I walk, my stride lengthens, it feels smoother and the pain in my knees disappears. At other times I look around. If you really look around you, it can be amazing what small delightful things you discover. I started walking in the country and every time someone or some vehicle went by I smiled. It was weird at first but eventually became a lot of fun. Now I live in the city. It is very easy now to smile, say hi and on occasion have a short chat with the people I meet. I have yet to find a person who doesn't like being praised for something they are doing or have done. It may be that you can't get out and about; perhaps your health doesn't let you or perhaps you are just too busy. That is where the Internet comes in. I started with just finding a couple of sites that I could receive in my email to lift me up. My son pointed out that all you have to do is go on whichever social media site feels comfortable and find some groups that interest you. Assuming that you follow basic safety protocol you can connect as deeply as you want to.
Sleeping can be a problem. Part of the problem is that we are completely out of touch with what our bodies actually want which means we do what other people decree is necessary. That will gradually change as we notice ourselves more. I am finding that some of the earlier ideas about nutrition and exercise help with the sleep issue. Turning off all electronic equipment is probably a good idea too. I find that deep breathing (stomach up when you inhale, down when you exhale) will often allow me to drift off. Getting into meditating or anything which activates my mind, while it can be great for some, just wakes me up. Sleeping is when your brain heals your body and processes your day. Whether the people in our lives like it or not, we are going to be useless if we don't get sleep.
The final ingredient is how you choose to engage with your life. That brings us back to focus and that is what this entire series of blogs is about. The changes I've mentioned are very small changes to your routine. The idea is to adopt the ones you want as you want to. The cool thing about all of them is that one tiny change has multiple effects. Each change will improve the health of your body. None of these changes works instantly but if you keep doing them and turn them into a habit you will notice a change. Each change will also improve your attitude; give you more energy, allow you to feel a little more up. Finally every time you do something for yourself, you can be proud of yourself. You care enough about yourself to do something nice for you. Each tiny change gives you a three-for-one. You change your body, mind and soul. You are doing the opposite of what you were doing. Guess what you aren't insane! The basic self-help mantra is change your thoughts, change your attitude. Each time you do even one of these things, you are doing precisely that. Congratulations to all of us. I made it through another blog and you made it through another blog. We're great!
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