Hi there. My name is Shirley Weeks. The title of this blog, Sparkling Force 2 is both a wish and a reality. Sparkling refers to how my eyes were described when I was very young and Force is what I want to be in this world. The 2 refers to the order in which I am venturing new things. A few weeks ago I discovered Twitter and my user name required one more letter/number so I added 1 (@sparklingforce1). This then is 2. The name is a wish because I really, really would like to be this; right now and for the rest of my life. It is a reality because in my heart of hearts I really do believe that I already am a very powerful individual. I really am this. Problem is there are a few layers of fear in between my heart of hearts and my daily life.
Lately I have become aware of several messages. The universe has a very hard time getting through to me some days. A few days ago (well actually it took several passes before I got it) I walked past a storefront that was advertising tools for the blind and visually impaired. I wondered what tools you would provide for an individual that was focus impaired. In one way or the other that describes all of us. Our focus narrows and narrows until we see only what is directly in front of us. Many years ago, my daughter was doing a painting of a cliff beside the sea in art class. She became so focused on getting the stones in the cliff just right that she finally had to be told to stop. She'd forgotten to look at the whole picture. She chose to name it "Looks good from a distance." It's a beautiful painting that hangs proudly in my house. She's not the only one who forgets to look at the whole picture.
Thoughts have been coming into my head lately to think about what members of my family need specifically. I should state here that my children are grown and my husband is at the age where he would like to retire and can't. All of them are grown and living their own life in the way they choose to live it. I am however still a mother and wife. The message here is to give them what they need not what I think they should do (not that the latter ever worked anyway). That requires listening a lot and observing. For me the response involves either remembering and writing or researching and communicating.
Today's message was from Facebook. There was a post about a woman who decided to face a fear a day for 100 days. She chose to video her reactions and put it on YouTube. As I mentioned I just discovered Twitter; posting on YouTube is an adventure yet to be discovered. I do however like to write. If she could do it, perhaps I can. Besides just the process of doing the blog would, I hope, cover quite a few of my fears.
My biggest problem is I avoid doing whatever is worrying me. I'm a great procrastinator. If I actually did all the things that I think I'm going to do I would probably be over the top busy for at least the next year. By that time all the things that I didn't do would have piled up and here we go again. The next problem is that for some reason I am terrified to act. I'm really good at thinking about things. I have a lot of knowledge stored in my brain - some of which even makes it out of my brain. Another fear is that what I have to say or do is not important enough for others to listen to or that I won't be able to say it in a way that is acceptable for other people. When I read that, I think wow, how boring. I'm just like other people. You see back down there in that heart that is so deep that I can't find it, I rather like the idea of being unique and different - special (yes being special can be a good thing!)
My passions, although I've spent a lifetime telling myself that I have no passion, creativity or ability to imagine, are writing and helping people (which often became people pleasing). When I write intentionally, I now have 5 books somewhere in progress (novels, biographies) and 3 or 4 more in my head, it comes out like a very boring, dull documentary; no emotion, no life and no me. That is not what I want and neither does anyone else. It would be nice to be heard.
My profile says that I am an explorer. If I use this blog to explore the messages and the answers that come from those messages, I can achieve many things. I will be actually doing something that I want to do. I will be sharing the way I cope or don't cope with my fears. That covers my passions. I will be communicating in a more natural manner. The intention is to reach other people who may be struggling. If I do I hope you will reply in the comments section below. If all these things happen, I will be building a platform for my novels and biographies which I am told is necessary in today's world if you want to get published. A big thing in the energy healing field or self help field is to be HAPPY. I first saw that phrase on my six year olds tee shirt a long time ago. In any case this makes me happy. I hope you will be able to connect or find something in all of this that relates to you. Who knows when I finally figure out how to design this blog the way I want it, I might even discover my creativity.
One note I would like to add. This blog is about me. I do belong to a family that means a great deal to me. I have to remember that this is the Internet and I am not obtaining their permission. To preserve their anonymity I will only be using their relative designation or at most their first name. Thanks for understanding. Looking forward to telling my tale and hearing about yours. Take care. You are the most wonderful person in the world!
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